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My Uncle Died When I Was 14

January 5, 2007

My uncle died when I was fourteen years old…

I didn’t know my unlce very well, but I was thinking about him tonight. I guess I should be more honest than that… I was thinking about what I’d leave behind once I’m gone (I know, probability would say I’ll live past my 70’s, so I’ve got some time).

While I was thinking about that, I thought not about my uncle’s death (38- cancer) and not about his wife or two boys (with Duchenne’s Muscular Distrophy) and the strugle they’ve endured together since his death (and the loss of the younger son at age 20 to his MD).

Instead I thought about the people that were at his funeral. And how sad they all were. I’m sure you’ve all been to funerals. There’s people filling up the first 5 to 10 rows in the church… or maybe there’s 75 people in a funeral parlor. Not at my uncles funeral. The church seated at least 300 people- it was a very large Catholic church. All the benches were full. There were at least 50-75 people, maybe more, standing in the church because there was no sitting room left. None. No sitting even by squishing people together. All those people in there- probably over 400 people.

And my uncle was not a famous person. He was an average guy. Yet somehow this average guy in a middle income family touched the lives of ALL those people in some meaningfull way.

I wonder how he did it. He had two sons to take care of with huge HUGE medical issues. He was battling cancer for two years… yet somehow he made time for all these people in his life. It makes me wish I had known him better, that I knew what kind of person he was. I was his neice but I didn’t know him well. We had the usual family get togethers, but I didn’t really know him in a personal way. He was just my goofy uncle who was always smiling and always had something funny to say.

Once I’m dead, it wont matter how many people are at my funeral. But while I’m here I hope that I can be as good of a person as my uncle was. I hope that my presence on this earth benefits others in some way. I hope that the people I leave behind are better off because they knew me and that I somehow influenced their lives in a positive way.

Okay, that’s it for deep and thoughtful for tonight.

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11 Comments leave one →
  1. Erika permalink
    May 13, 2008 10:52 PM

    My uncle just died and i didnt know him very well either but i cryed hard at his funeral he was only 45 😦

  2. jaz permalink
    July 4, 2009 8:50 PM

    my uncle died today well actually ths morning dropping my aunt 2 work he was in a car crash n died my aunt only suffered severe injurys i wasnt tht close 2 him but i was close n im 14 aswell thts y i read ths link his my 1st closest relative thts died i cry only wen i talk about him tho lol

    • June 23, 2010 1:44 AM

      thats sick putting lol thins is serious you make me sick !!! rip uncle jay i love you so much uncle jay xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  3. allie permalink
    September 7, 2009 6:56 PM

    My uncle died on July 31st, 2008. He died in his sleep. Passed out on my Grandpas floor. It was undescrible how many tears there were. He was creamated and he will be remembered forever. R.I.P. Uncle Kevin. I was 12 when that happend. I just wish the best for the rest of my family.

  4. Lauren permalink
    November 6, 2009 2:46 AM

    My uncle died yesterday, due to a scuba diving accident. Everyones so heart broken and can’t believe it’s happened to such an innocent, incredibly intelligent and healthy 39 year old man.
    He lived life to the full! He’s done so much, many were so life threatening, yet never had any death threats from them. Making it worse, we lived next door to each other… he was always such a joker, just like your uncle yourself. He always used to pop his head over the fence and whistle, or make you jump. He was a successful man, with a high payed job and was pretty much up to date with all his technology and knew every wire and cable in it ha.
    His jokes, humor and kind heart will be missed dearly! I can’t believe its happened.

  5. June 23, 2010 1:38 AM

    my uncle was only 21 when he died and i blame myself he comitted suiside i need him back i love him love you so much uncle jay R.I.P xxxxxxxxxxxxX

  6. Erica Beatey permalink
    November 5, 2010 7:55 PM

    Mu uncle just died too of cancer, age 49. He had two girls one being 10 and the other 16. I am so sad and the same kind of thing happened at the wake. Ligit (we counted) OVER 400 people came (about 465) and Uncle Jim was a normal construction type of guy! It just makes me sad to think that I’ll never go on a boat ride again with him on the pond to tube or hear his raspy hearty laugh or hear the “BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!” as his giant Tricore truck backs up 😦

  7. March 5, 2011 8:47 AM

    my uncle died today also…he had a strong fever :/
    he knew many of the people around him and always cracked jokes here and there..
    he had two children: a boy who is 7 and a girl who is 3
    when i think about him…i think about his children who will never get a chance to grow up with their real dad……..especially the girl…she doesn’t even know her dad is dead…..
    i wished he was still alive!!!

  8. colby permalink
    July 2, 2011 1:15 PM

    My Uncle died today it was also his dad my grandpa’s birthday in his sleep he was 26

  9. kristen permalink
    February 1, 2012 2:34 AM

    my uncle passed away of 1/31/12 and i dont realy understand whats going on im 15 and i knew him.. not well but i knew him. i watched the adult in my father turn into that boy who lost his little brother. i felt so bad. nothing i said could make it better, i felt horiable the funeral is in a cuple days and tonight was the worst night of my life i miss mmy uncle i wish he was here. R.I.P. uncle Bryan.

  10. Katt permalink
    April 3, 2015 2:48 PM

    Two years ago. On this day,which is my 21st birthday,my uncle died. And as I write this comment my heart is so shattered. I somewhat feel bad for being so selfish cos a part of me us just upset cos he died on my birthday which kinda means my birthdays will never be the same again. I’ve been frying for the past couple minutes. Mom tried to calm me down and for some time it worked. But I got back to my room and it all happened again. :(…

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